Content is like oxygen to an influencer.
They need it 24/7.
They will film anything, anywhere, at any time.
This can be very overwhelming to the people who surround them, especially loved ones.
Not everybody wants to be in the shot.
Redditor Mrs-Davis wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for Losing My Cool and Yelling at My ‘Influencer’ SIL Over Her Constant Filming and Lack of Respect for My Daughter’s Boundaries?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I have a 13-year-old daughter (S).”
“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] has two boys (8 and 11) who are deep into the Canadian hockey/baseball travel‑tournament lifestyle.”
“She’s a S[tay]-A[t]-H[ome]-M[om] and went down the Insta/TikTok ‘family lifestyle influencer’ rabbit hole.”
“Over the last year, she’s leaned hard into the hockey mom thing by posting hotel reviews, game pics, and travel tips.”
“She wants to turn her page into a full ‘family brand.’”
“When her boys were younger, she used to say she wished she had a daughter to do ‘girlie things’ with.”
“I included her in a few things with S, like picking out her first communion dress.”
“Back then, she was sweet, supportive, and genuinely the ‘cool aunt.’”
“Lately, every family thing has become content.”
‘She films everything, stages ‘candid’ moments, narrates like she’s vlogging.”
“At Christmas, she tried to dictate the whole day.”
“Gifts, crafts, movies all became scripted.”
“The older cousins hid in the basement to escape being filmed.”
“S later told me she hated being recorded and didn’t want to be on SIL’s pages.”
“Apparently, SIL kept pestering her to braid hair, decorate cookies, etc., for ‘content.’”
“S didn’t know how to shut it down, so she made herself as un‑influencer‑friendly as possible (eye rolls, nose picking, etc).”
“Last weekend we went out for my mum’s 70th.”
“SIL immediately started filming again, making the whole dinner awkward until her partner (my brother) snapped at her to stop.”
“During dinner, S mentioned she was going dress shopping for her grade 8 graduation.”
“SIL lit up and started pushing to come so she could ‘expand her brand into full‑family content.’”
“I ignored her to discuss after dinner and in private, but she kept pushing.”
“In the parking lot, she asked again for the time and place.”
“I snapped.”
“I told her MY daughter is not her prop, not her ‘girl substitute,’ and she does not have permission to film or post her.”
“She got defensive and said I was ‘stifling her creativity’ and that she ‘needs’ my daughter because she doesn’t have one.”
“I told her off, loudly and colourfully.”
“S heard, but with two parents who work in construction, she’s heard worse.”
“Later, SIL started a group chat saying I was rude, mean, and embarrassed her, and that ‘everyone posts everything these days.’”
“She demanded an apology.”
“I refused and reiterated our boundaries.”
“My siblings backed me up and said they also don’t want their kids in her content.”
“SIL hasn’t responded since.”
“I know I raised my voice, but she has ignored every boundary.”
“My priority was protecting S’ boundaries.”
“Unequivocally, I know I am NTA for that, and I will never apologize.”
“However, my SIL just didn’t get it.”
“Also, any pics I have in my history of S are posted with her permission.”
“My first go at writing this resulted in a 2000-word, 10,000-character count, so many details have been omitted.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So, AITA for yelling at SIL in the manner I did?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, but also, buy your daughter a couple of custom t-shirts and hoodies that say ‘I do not consent to being filmed’ and on the line below, have it reversed, so even if the image is mirrored, it is readable.” ~ dngermom
“NTA. She doesn’t get to use your daughter against her will to create contact. Period.”
“S is not her substitute daughter.”
“Too bad, so sad.’
“Influencer culture can be so toxic.”
“If the only way you can make interesting content is to force your family to participate against their will, maybe you aren’t much of an influencer after all.” ~ Jodenaje
“Yes! There are real creeps out there.”
“A woman influencer just shared an alarming post about her page’s viewer analytics.”
“Her page started as just her, then she started to have some family content.”
“When it’s just her, over 85% of her viewership is female (like it was when it was just her).”
“When she includes her kids, her viewership doubles it’s 70% male.” ~ aly_eva
“Raising your voice was the mildest thing you could have done.”
“One day, someone is going to grab her phone and stick it up her ar*e.”
“‘Influencers’ are the fakes of life who do as little as possible to feel relevant when they aren’t.” ~ Sassy-Peanut
“NTA… content creation becomes a sickness for desperate losers who have no talent.”
“’Stifling her creativity’ lmao, she has none, that’s why she’s making pointless content about her life.”
“Sticking up for your daughter was most definitely justified.” ~ Headup31
“NTA. First, your kid is old enough to consent to being filmed and posted on social media.”
“Second, she is a minor, and you’re the adult.”
“You are allowed to protect your kid how you see fit.”
“Third, more than one child has opted out of wanting to be SIL’s prop at family functions.”
“And multiple other adults are backing you up.”
“Fourth, SIL probably isn’t sharing the revenue from her content with the kids.”
“If she wants to be an influencer, she doesn’t get to demand free labor from the people she wants to film.”
“And she clearly hasn’t gotten signed consent forms from the other parents to show their kids.” ~ RebeccaMCullen
“NTA. If the fact that the older cousins are hiding in the basement to avoid being filmed didn’t tell her that she needed to stop, what else can you do but yell?”
“More sadly, your Mom is now 70, and she may or may not live to see another decade birthday.”
“And your SIL ruined it for her.”
“Your poor Mom.”
“I’m sure she just wanted to be with her family, instead of having her grandchildren cowering for fear of being filmed and displayed like prize 4-H livestock at the county fair.”
“Good for you for standing up to her.”
“And fantastic job being a great role model to your daughter.”
“Sometimes screaming is necessary, and your daughter saw you go to bat for her.”
“Your daughter will never forget that. NTA.” ~ Away-Specific5361
“NTA, you told her no, she didn’t listen, so you had to go ballistic.”
“Sounds like she still didn’t listen.”
“Keep standing up for your daughter.” ~ Interesting_Wing_461
“NOPE. NTA.”
“Does she understand the metrics of ‘family’ videos?”
“As far as who watches them?”
“There are way more men than women.”
“Why is that?”
“I think we all know why.”
“She is violating your daughter’s privacy.”
“She has not gotten consent from you or your child, and she is actually blowing past the word no over and over.”
“She needs to take a step back, or she is gonna get told loudly that what she’s doing is not ok.”
“It’s ok to yell at someone who is doing something violating to your child.”
“She needs to stop being so naive with the internet, and if she wants to endanger her own kids, great.”
“But she has no right to endanger yours.”
“Yell at her, shake some sense into her, do whatever you have to do to make her understand that this is not acceptable behavior.”
“Same for your family.”
“They are looking the other way on this behavior.” ~ purplepeopletreater
“I agree, definitely NTA and probably could have been a bit more diplomatic, but after being shut down multiple times by multiple people, it seems SIL was not getting the message and being very entitled to a girl who has the right to object to being filmed/posted online.”
“And seeing the age of the girl, a very good time to support autonomy and boundaries.”
“Along with the current news of exploited children and the possibilities of the content being used inappropriately, it’s appalling that the SIL had to be chewed out to get the point.” ~ Patient_Town1719
“Not particularly diplomatic, perhaps, but definitely NTA.”
“Both you and your daughter have said no, but the ‘cool aunt’ has repeatedly crossed the line.” ~ Due-Cry-1862
“As soon as your daughter told you she doesn’t want to be on her page, you should have told SIL to take the videos with her off, S has every right to her own privacy.”
“NTA for finally telling her off, though, just long overdue.” ~ NapQueenSurpreme
“NTA, you were justified in your yelling.”
“She was a pushy AH at every turn.”
“She needs to learn that the world is not her stage and she cannot turn people into props or use other people’s lives to further herself.” ~ Not_Good_HappyQuinn
“NTA. S is a minor.”
“She is not allowed to share anything about her without both of your consents.”
“And most people do not post everything online, the world would go insane.” ~ Riyokosan
OP came back to chat…
“There is no content containing my daughter online.”
“Only her kids and partner.”
“We are Canadian.”
“Currently no laws about underage use of social media.”
“S, as part of the school curriculum, is taught media literacy, digital literacy, and internet safety starting in the kindergarten years.”
“Her partner is my brother.”
“I did not address her pushing to come shopping in the restaurant, hoping to discuss it later and in private.”
“Dinner was for my mum, so I didn’t want to take away from that.”
“I have told her a number of times, no photos or recording, usually over text.”
“She continues to pester to use S.”
Reddit is 1000% with you, OP.
Your SIL is so out of line.
It sounds more like she has an addiction.
You put up your boundaries to protect your daughter.
Stand firm.