Living with a roommate always comes with challenges.
Whether it’s a friend you’ve known practically all your life, or someone you just met via a classified ad, it’s almost a guarantee that a conflict will arise regarding your living situation.
Be it inequality in cleaning duties, lateness in paying rent or bills, or a simply fundamentally different lifestyle.
Redditor coleskidmore and their roommate found themselves at odds regarding the temperature of their apartment.
While the original poster (OP) tried to address this issue, their roommate simply wasn’t hearing it, instead calling the OP “controlling”.
Leading the OP to take matters into their own hands.
Wondering if they went too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for removing my roommate’s access to the thermostat after he kept turning my place into a sauna?”
The OP explained why they felt the need to take control of the temperature of their apartment:
“I (26 years old) live with my roommate (27 years old).”
“We split the rent and have been for a while now.”
“He’s completely nuts about being cozy, which to him means cranking the thermostat up to 78 or 80 and leaving it running all day.”
“I work from home and its like walking into a sauna – the meetings are grueling enough without feeling like i’m going to spontaneously combust.”
“I asked him to please keep the temperature reasonable a bunch of times.”
“He’d say okay, but as soon as i went to bed or left the room, he’d flip it back to ‘arctic to tropical climate’.”
“Finally, I told him if he wants to live in a constant heatwave, he can take out his wallet and write the extra checks.”
“But he just said i’m being controlling and that temperature just isn’t that big of a deal.”
“So I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
“I changed the app password on the thermostat and set it to keep the house at a reasonable 72 degrees during the day and 68 at night.”
“He finds out, changes the password, and proceeds to call me a total psycho.”
“‘Acting like you’re the owner of the place’ he says.”
“Its getting pretty ridiculous.”
“Now he’s been telling all our friends that I’m being financially abusive because I won’t let him turn the heat up to broil with MY money.”
“And our friends are really split on it – some just laugh along with us like its a hilarious joke, while others are actually starting to think he’s lost his mind.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for blocking their roommate from the thermostat.
Everyone agreed that the OP needing to crank the temperature of their apartment up was not only negatively impacting the OP’s health, but also their utility bills, and the OP had every right to call them out on that:
“NTA.”
“Idk why ppl in the comments are already weird about this.”
“That is an abnormal temperature.”
“Keeping things a standard room temp seems more than fair and he can bundle up or buy a small heater if needed that badly (would probably save money on bills too).”
“Turning heat up like that would be bad for my own personal health issues honestly.”
“BUT on that note it sounds like he might be low iron or something?”
“He should get a checkup to see why he’s feeling cold enough to make his home that warm.”-Abject_Dig4815
“NTA.”
“It’s always possible to wear more layers if you’re cold.”
“You can’t take off your skin if you’re too hot.”
“On top of that, I’m sure your utilities are through the roof. 80 degrees is not a reasonable temperature and it’s absurd to expect you to pay for that.”
“If he wants to be so toasty, he needs to buy his own space heater and pay a greater portion of the electric bill.”
“You should change the password again.”- Mediocre_Interest649
“NTA.”
“Who cranks the heat above 72 in the winter?!”
“That’s crazy.”
“I live in Minnesota.”
“I would bet a lot of money that most people (unless living in poverty and forced to set it lower as a result) set their thermostats between 68 and 72.”
“I have Raynaud’s and am constantly cold. Yet my house is 68 during the day and 60 at night.”
“And unless you have a good humidifier, 78 or above in the winter means air drier than the Sahara.”
“Not good for you!”
“Not to mention the cost.”
“What is wrong with your roommate?”- RainyDaysAndMondays3
“NTA.”
“1. Its costing you money.”
‘2. Its uncomfortable in your own house.’
“My office at work is like this, there are a certain group that complain about being cold.”
“My response is ‘You can wear a sweater, you probably won’t like it when I’m walking around the office in a speedo’.”- peggory
“NTA – Sounds like you need a new room mate.”
“You tried to reason with him about it and he ignored you. 80 is objectively way warmer than a house needs to be in the winter time anyway.”
“He could just wear a sweater if he’s cold.”- Such_Respect_942
“NTA.”
“But I feel like your roommate’s love for heat is a symptom of something.”- the_elephant_stan
“NTA.”
“You had the conversation with him, and 78-80 is NOT reasonable.”
“Then you had the conversation with him again.”
“And again.”
“And now you’re trying to do something about it because his behavior hasn’t changed at all.”
“He needs to get a space heater or something for his own room and then just pay the extra cost of that – he gets a cozy room, you get a regular average temperature house and he pays toward the costs of a heat wave that only he wants.”
“You’ll have to sit down and talk it through again, though, which probably won’t be much fun.”
“Good luck.”- Tuullii
“NTA, above 75 is a Sauna.”
“It sucks that he has poor blood circulation or whatever is causing him to be cold but it’s harder to get cool than it is to get warm.”- Eiyuo-no-O
“Oh my God, I could not survive in an 80° house.”
“That’s insane!”
“Even if it were summer, I could not do it let alone pay to be that uncomfortable!”
“This guy is nuts, but you don’t really have the right to change the thermostat.”
“On the other hand, he is so insane.”
“I’m going with NTA.”- Constellation-88
“NTA, your roommate is being dramatic as hell.”
“80 degrees is insane and he can put on a sweater like a normal person.”
“The ‘financial abuse’ thing is such a reach tbh, he’s just mad he can’t roast you out of your own apartment anymore.”- Marilyncee
“Absolutely NOT. Find another roommate.”
“This guy is a total a-hole. 80 f*cking degrees?”
“I would literally throw up in that heat.”
“NTA.”- Dependent-Feed1105
“68 is pretty cold to me.”
“However, when I lived in Japan with my roommate (dorms), she couldn’t sleep with the heat on all night (it was winter and snowing and I’m from SoCal, non-mountainous area lol), so I would just bundle up more in sweats and wear heat pads.”
“Anyways, NTA. If you can’t find a compromise and the other person doesn’t even want to work things out that’s ridiculous.”
“I recommend you tell him to buy an electrical heater for his room.”
“My current house is not centralized AC/heating and it works wonders.”- Kisses4Kimmy
“Lmfao that boy d9nt even know what financial abuse is, if he’s comparing this to that.”
“NTA at all.”
“If he wants to live in the Sahara, then he either pays the extra every month or he invests in a heated blanket.”- Technical_Yam2712
“NTA, he’s not paying for it, he isn’t there all day when you are.”
“It’s not financially abusive if he makes his own money.”
“That’s reserved for people who stay home and take care of the kids while their partners work and won’t give them spending money for anything-or stuff along those lines. If he isn’t paying for it, he doesn’t get to decide how warm your home can be.”
“The fact that he thinks he can keep it at unbearable even when he isn’t home is wild to me.”-
IntelligentReply9863
There were a few, however, who did think the OP went too far in changing the thermostat password, even if they didn’t sympathize with the OP’s roommate either:
“Mild ESH.”
“I’m sorry, he thinks between 68-72 is ‘Arctic’?”
“Is he a lizard person?”
“Do you live in a terrarium?”
“Get a new roommate, it’s time to move out.”
“He does pay half the rent, therefore you cannot reasonably lock him out of the a/c/heat unit.”-justhewayouare
“ESH.”
“Playing games by locking each other out of the thermostat is childish and unproductive.”
“The two of you need to sit down and find a compromise temperature that you can both agree to—74 seems appropriate?—or one of you needs to start looking for alternative living arrangements.”
“Room temperature in common spaces is one of those things that if you cannot find a compromise that’s comfortable for both of you, you are simply incompatible for cohabitation.”- ladybessyboo
While all roommates are bound to disagree on something, sometimes the differences can make cohabiting untenable.
Which seems to be the OP’s situation.
If they can’t find a civil agreement regarding the temperature, perhaps a new living situation is the only solution.