Cat populations can increase very quickly, especially in suburban and rural areas.
That makes it especially important for responsible cat owners to keep their cats indoors or at least neuter and spay them if they’re going to let them out.
They also need to understand that even if they don’t provide this service for their cats, someone else just might, through an organized or individual TNR (Trap, Neuter, Release) program, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Worldly-Day-9092 was a cat lover and already had several cats of his own when a stray or lost cat started visiting his house frequently, asking for food, and showing affection.
Though he didn’t have the means to take in another cat, he did have the means to provide it medical care, only for the Original Poster (OP) to later discover that this cat had a home after all.
He asked the sub:
“Am I the a**hole for accidentally neutering my neighbor’s cat, who I thought was a stray?”
The OP recently met a very friendly stray cat.
“I am a guy who loves to hang out in my garage. I’ve got a TV set up there, and I hang out there and say hi to my neighbors.”
“A few weeks ago, this young black cat came up to my garage.”
“He looked pretty normal and had very orange eyes. He was pretty friendly and wore a collar. This collar wasn’t a normal collar for cats, though.”
“Cats are supposed to have breakaway collars because, if you have a cat, you know they like to crawl into tight spaces and explore. This cat had a Cuban-link collar that was somewhat tight. It was not choking it, but it was definitely snug and not appropriate for an outdoor cat.”
“This collar had no name tag or anything on it at all. I gave it some food, and it seemed like it was starving. I gave it some dry cat kibble, and it instantly started scarfing it down, knocking the food everywhere while doing so.”
The OP attempted to track down the cat’s owner.
“We live near a very busy street, and the cat didn’t seem fazed by the cars at all.”
“About ten hours passed, and the cat was still hanging around in my garage, so I decided it was best to keep the cat overnight so it didn’t get hit by a car.”
“I posted a few missing cat ads on Facebook, NextDoor app, and other sites.”
“The next day, I went to my local shelter to see if it had a microchip. It didn’t have one, unfortunately.”
“This is the exact same way I got my current cat. But my cat had a microchip, and we tried to contact the owner for over a month, but they never responded, so we just kept it.”
The OP decided to start providing the cat with medical care.
“I decided it was best to wait a week to see if anyone responds to my missing cat ads.”
“A week passes by, nothing… so I booked an appointment to get this cat fixed because you are supposed to get stray cats fixed so they don’t spray everywhere and so they can be less territorial.”
“We went to the vet, got it fixed, and after the healing time passed, I decided it was good to roam the streets. I was still concerned that it would get hit by a car, but I just didn’t have the extra time or resources to keep another stray cat.”
“But I had faith that the cat would be able to survive by itself. I do see a couple of stray cats that roam my neighborhood that are very feral, but they have been around for years. So I was hoping that the cat would be able to do the same.”
As it turned out, the cat had an owner who failed to speak up.
“The same day I let the cat roam free, the owner came knocking on my door.”
“I answered, and it was some young dude, and he basically told me that the cat I neutered was his.”
“I told him everything I went through to find the owner, and he didn’t really seem to care that much.”
“He told me he wanted to breed that cat and also told me not to go around neutering cats that are not yours.”
“Then I replied by telling him that next time, have some sort of identification on him so I can tell that he is actually owned by someone and not some stray that was abandoned.”
“I’m not sure if what I did was an a**hole move or if I am justified in trying to keep my neighborhood cat population under control. Tell me what you guys think.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were certain the neighbor lied to the OP about his future plans for his cat just to make the OP feel bad.
“NTA. A cat worth breeding wouldn’t be let outside. This guy’s just p**sy that his parents yelled at him.” – Perfect_Delivery_509
“He was probably just lying. Thought OP would hit him up for the vet costs, so decided to head him off by claiming he didn’t do him a favor.”
“OP should have responded that the cat was underweight, and he was lucky if he didn’t turn him in to animal control.”
“Incidentally, if OP microchipped the cat with their name, they can claim ownership of the cat.” – Traveler691
“Specific breeds are the only cats worth intentionally breeding. If you had a specific breed cat you would have paid a fortune for the cat and to have the breeder’s papers to prove that it is that specific breed. Realistically, you’d put considerable effort into not letting that cat inadvertently merge into the cat distribution system.”
“If he does have those papers, he can try to take OP to court for unlawful neutering. Without those papers, a reversal of judgment means he might end up owing OP for the medical procedure.” – Professional_Ruin93
“Has this guy never heard of TNR (Trap, Neuter, Release)? People absolutely do go around neutering cats that aren’t theirs, and it’s considered a very noble and altruistic service to both the community and to the cats.”
“If you don’t want your cat neutered, don’t let him roam the streets without a tag or microchip, and ignore the notices that someone else has him.”
“NTA for OP doing the right thing.” – DizzyFly9339
“There are just… so many spare cats, and this dumb kid wants to add more? I bet he had thoughts of selling them for some extra cash, likely giving them away as soon as possible, rather than waiting until they’re old enough, so he doesn’t need to feed them.”
“Incredibly irresponsible, probably illegal depending on jurisdiction, and honestly just plain dumb.” – AutisticPenguin2
Others questioned the neighbor’s cat-parenting skills altogether.
“He sure kept quiet when op was feeding his cat.” – residentcaprice
“It sounds like this id**t (the neighbour) shouldn’t be allowed to keep cats in the first place.”
“A bad collar, no ID or microchip, he clearly didn’t look that hard for it when it went missing, AND was apparently planning to breed it.” – EducationalTangelo6
“Microchipping and neutering are part of the key components of responsible pet/cat care, along with vaccinations. If the first two weren’t done, doubt the third was either.”
“The unsuitable cat collar on top sums up an unsuitable cat owner. Where I live, microchipping cats and dogs is now legally required. If the owner did try to press charges and the case was put before an animal-loving judge, the cat owner would be learning an expensive lesson.” – Acceptable-Net-154
“NTA. Cats who are not neutered have no business being outside. Period.”
“If he wanted to breed the cat, he should have kept her indoors. He is either an irresponsible cat owner or a liar.”
“(Who lets a cat they want to breed with roam free? Doesn’t make any sense unless you desperately want mutts and hope you don’t have to look for a partner that way. But there are far too many of those already, so that would make him an even bigger AH.)” – Crazyandiloveit
“Since he clearly knew where the cat was and never answered any of OP’s ads about a found cat, let alone picked up the cat, he clearly doesn’t care.” – GoodQueenFluffenChop
After receiving feedback, the OP explained why he didn’t originally keep the cat, even after caring for him.
“I have three cats that I rescued and a senior dog who is 15. My house is pretty full, so that’s why I didn’t keep the cat for myself, but I’m prepared to care for him as an outdoor cat when he visits.”
“Second, I did put the cat back into the streets because there is not a single no-kill shelter around me, so I thought it would at least have a chance in the streets. Cats are way better at surviving the streets compared to most other animals. Also, no family member wanted it, and most of them have dogs.”
“Last is my lack of resources and time, which is basically because my grandma is currently living with me and is very weak. She is going through dialysis, which I have to do every day, along with food and everything else that comes along with that.”
“My senior dog has recently gotten pancreatitis, and I have been going to the vet a lot for him. Along with my current job, I’m working and also studying to get my residential contractors license, and just general life things I have to do, and it gets overwhelming…”
“That’s why I didn’t want to bring in another cat into my life. I thought the least I could do was give him food and water and make sure he’s not making a bunch of stray babies.”
But the cat just kept coming back!
“The cat came back to my garage door in the middle of the night, meowing, so I gave him some food and water. I’m just gonna keep feeding him and giving him water whenever I see him.”
“I don’t want to get into any more trouble with this dude and escalate things, but it makes me sad because he’s a super friendly cat, instantly purrs when you pick him up, and is very playful.”
“I don’t want to just ignore him and leave him hungry and cold.”
While the OP was not in a position to take in another cat at the moment, he’d done the next best thing by participating in the TNR movement to help control the cat population in the area.
Also, by feeding the cat and showing it kindness, he was providing it with a safe space, even if it wasn’t permanent.
If the guy next door really wanted his cat to be his cat, he needed to do much more than let his cat outside and yell at his neighbors.