Let’s be honest: sometimes people become attracted to each other, and they aren’t ready to admit that to everyone around them, possibly because they’re coworkers or because of some other potentially awkward reason.
But more than likely, they’re not ready to admit to something that could jeopardize a relationship they’re in, cringed the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Obvious_Tea_4247 tried to be understanding of their girlfriend’s friendship with one of her male coworkers, even though hearing them call each other “work husband” and “work wife” made them cringe.
But when they planned a week-long road trip together, the Original Poster (OP) was dismayed when they shared their concerns about the trip, and their girlfriend accused them of being jealous and insecure.
They asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for not wanting my girlfriend to go on a solo road trip with her ‘work husband’?”
The OP’s girlfriend and one of her coworkers were a little too close for comfort.
“My girlfriend has this close guy friend from work, Mark.”
“She calls him her ‘work husband,’ which has always lowkey bugged me, but I’ve tried to be cool about it.”
“They text a lot and grab lunch sometimes.”
But the OP drew the line at them wanting to take a trip together, just the two of them.
“Whatever, I trust her, but now she dropped a bomb on me.”
“Mark is going on a road trip to visit some national parks for a week, and his original friend bailed. So he asked my girlfriend to go with him instead.”
“And… she’s actually considering it. Just the two of them. Sharing a car and probably sharing a hotel room to save money.”
The OP’s girlfriend didn’t see what the big deal was.
“I told her straight up that this plan makes me super uncomfortable.”
“She says that I’m being insecure and that he’s ‘like a brother’ to her.”
“I told her that even if that’s true, it’s about respect. How would she feel if I went on a week-long trip with a ‘work wife’?”
“She said it’s different, and now we’re in a huge fight.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some cringed at the use of the term “work husband.”
“First of all, ‘work husband’? Oye, red flag. NOR.” – dazedlyconfused
“I hate the whole ‘work husband’ and ‘work wife’ thing. Every so often, a coworker will refer to me as his work wife, and I will respond that he’s like my work brother.”
“They always look put off, which kind of proves that the terminology isn’t purely innocent.” – Toosder
“When I addressed the ‘work husband’ label, I had to deal with, ‘What, I can’t have male friends at work now?'”
“That was three weeks before I found out about the affair. Gotta love the gaslighting!” – AJFalzie
“My ex had a work wife and yet also had a list of reasons why he wasn’t interested in her. I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Who are you trying to convince?’ They got married two months after our divorce was final.” – KJParker888
“The only time I play ‘work husband and work wife’ at work is with other heterosexual dudes, as a fellow heterosexual dude.”
“We call each other our ‘work wives’ all the time.”
“I would never say that about a woman at my work. I also work blue collar, so the VAST majority of my coworkers are men, but the policy stands.” – TheRear1961
“My husband had a work husband. As a group, they are the husbros.”
“He also has a work mom. Everyone calls Miss Deb mom. That’s totally different; she’s my honorary mom, even though I don’t work there.” – purplechunkymonkey
“It’s definitely not innocent. It’s playing with fire without playing with fire.”
“It allows for plausible deniability (like, ‘oh, I’m kidding, it’s no big deal) whilst opening the door to increased intimacy, emotional and/or physical.”
“Just my opinion, but I think it’s inappropriate on any level.” – SnooBananas7856
“The ‘work husband’ and ‘work wife’ thing is really cringe, too, like, honestly, if you’re going to have the affair, just do it already, and keep it out of the office.”
“Quit subjecting the rest of us to this immature, awkward banter. You’re a middle-aged adult. Stop with the half-jokes and the Twitter-pated goofiness and half-a**ed flirting.”
“Either you want each other, or you don’t. Either you’re going to act on it or not. Either way, this isn’t middle school; I don’t want to see it; it’s above my pay grade. YUCK.” – meltyandbuttery
“I really dislike it when people in the office say ‘work husband’ or ‘work wife’… I’m like, what the f**k, that’s so disrespectful, and it makes me feel bad for the actual husband or wife. I know you two aren’t married, but it’s still very disrespectful, hurtful, and gross.” – peace_sunshine
“It’s not different. Her response is what bothers me. She’s feeling offended and therefore lashed out at you with the insecure/controlling line. Unfortunately, this is the same response most cheaters give.”
“You have to decide to trust her completely, or should probably just break up. This trip may be nothing more than two friends seeing the sights, or it may be an opportunity to spend all day and night together like they can’t now, only sneaking off to f**k.”
“That’s the problem with these close coworker relationships. They spend so much time together that feelings can develop.”
“IF you trust her deep down, then the root of this may be that she isn’t prioritizing you. Instead, she is planning to devote more of her time and attention to this other guy when she already spends eight hours plus a day with him. That’s likely more than she spends actually interacting with you.” – Initial-Bandicoot444
Others agreed that the road trip was weird, and they were sure the girlfriend knew it, too.
“It’s okay for her to go, but you going with a ‘work wife’ would be different?!?! Nah, this is definitely iffey, and she knows it.”
“No one has work wives or work husbands; they have friends. Friends texting all the time and having lunch together show that you are not overreacting at all.”
“Have you met this man? His friend can’t make the week-long holiday, and he has no other friends?!?! C’mon, dodgy as h**l.” – curious-by-moon
“Nah, there’s no reason for her to go for a week-long trip with another male alone, period.”
“If she goes, then she gets sent to the streets. The level of disrespect is enough for her to be dumped immediately, work husband or not.” – bobp929
“This is the kind of trip you take with your boyfriend. Just the fact that someone would want to go with someone other than their boyfriend, family, or best friend is weird. I want my best experiences to be with my closest people, not a coworker.” – jittery-raccoon
“No, you’re not being unreasonable. If anything, the fact that she even suggested it would make me suspicious. Shouldn’t she be taking her time off with you, her actual partner in life? I think you might want to accept that. There’s more going on here than you were aware.” – PilotEnvironmental46
“NOR. There are THREE red flags…”
“1. ‘She says I’m being insecure.'”
“2. ‘She says that he’s ‘like a brother’ to her.'”
“3. ‘I asked how she would feel if I went on a weeklong trip with a ‘work wife’? She said it’s different.'”
“She’s either already cheating or planning to do so on this trip. Dump her, and move on with your life while she’s on this trip, sending her life up in smoke.” – trekgirl75
“My dude. Absolutely not. NOR.”
“I thought this was a work trip at first, and that would still be iffy.”
“But a personal road trip, just the two of them…”
“Honestly, based on her reaction, I would break up with her. Her stance is utterly ridiculous; she has no leg to stand on. Do not let her convince you this is okay.” – yyythoo
“NOR. Everything about this sounds shady: probably sharing a hotel room, yeah, definitely sharing a room, and I’m guessing it will be a one-bed that’s being shared as well.”
“Got to give the work husband some credit for coming up with the fake, ‘oh, my friend just backed out,’ storyline, LOL.”
“If you haven’t already gotten rid of her, that’s your next move.” – vixenhotwife20
“NOR.”
“Maybe it was her idea to begin with, and it’s all planned from the start to be a romantic road trip for them. Out of town where nobody knows they are cheating.”
“I honestly think she wants to try this guy out to decide who she actually wants when there’s no work involved, no office space or current boyfriend breathing down their necks.”
“The OP deserves so much better and should start over while she’s gone.” – Arizona_Dread
“The fact that she’s even thinking about it is a huge red flag. She is clearly not ready to be tied to any one person as yet. It seems you are the current placeholder and she’s getting ready to move on.”
“Read it for what it is. Get ahead of it and just break up now. You deserve to be with someone who wants to make you the person to do ALL of their road trips with.” – Happy_Wolverine9888
“Let your ex-girlfriend go on a trip with her boyfriend, my man.”
It’s the ‘it’s different’ for me. She ain’t the one, OP.”
“The respect is unequal. In her world, she gets to walk across boundaries unscathed.” – alanmooresbarber
It is, of course, possible for a man and a woman to be good friends without being attracted to each other, and this can also be true when they work together.
But the fact that the pair were referring to each other as “work husband” and “work wife” was a tad suspicious, and the fact that they were now planning to go on this trip together, just the two of them, and would likely share a hotel room would make anyone suspicious, let alone a well-meaning partner.